von groovy's definitions

well, that nappened...

This is what you may declare when you completely and accidentally take a nap and wake up.

Alberto had been going at it for two days straight. He came home to get a quick bite before he met his friends before his gig on the night shift. As he was savoring the mac n cheese bites on his sofa he closed his eyes and awoke almost two hours later to a flurry of texts and missed calls. He giggled to himself in a restful manner, "well, that nappened..."

by von groovy September 11, 2024

pocket warming bitch boys

these are the dudes who walk around under-dressed in cooler weather with their hands in their pockets in order to try and keep themselves warm. They tend to associate with another and don't appreciate how weak they look.

Sara was waiting at a red light on a cool evening, when 3 dudes walked in front of her in sandals, shorts, and tank tops each with their hands in their pockets. She yelled, "Get a fucking jacket on you pocket warming bitch boys!!!"

by von groovy May 3, 2019

Ink in the Pink

Tattoos in the genital region

Barry finally got the forearm anchor he wanted Saturday. When he returned home his mom asked him if he got any "ink in the pink." He shamefully said no...

by von groovy June 28, 2019

emotional gymnastics

These are a series of skilled movements involving all sorts of feelings and thinking in order to get oneself successfully through a negative situation with another person. It's tough and you have to be quick, strong, and flexible at all times to win this competition.

Sharon: "Did you hear about Ashlynn?"
Lisa: "I loathe that bitch. She tried messing with me last month and demonstrated that I can do emotional gymnastics at a gold medal level! She started crying and hyperventilating. I was in top form!"
Sharon: "She's dead."
Lisa: "Hmmm. Are we going to Chick Fil' A or what? I'm starving over here."

by von groovy July 2, 2024

cap-wearing bitch

What you call a liar who is trying to stir up some trouble

Nancy: "So, I told them that I know more than they do about those things. Don't trust them at all! I know truth!"
Silent G: "Nope! You did no such thing you cap-wearing bitch! Now go fetch me some tea."
Nancy: "Yes, queen. Sweet or Tooth-crackin' sweet?"

by von groovy August 4, 2024

sharp as a sphere

Someone who is not too sharp, smart, clever, or anywhere near brainiac status.

Gill: Oh, I see you got your laces into your new shoes, Kev. Good Job!!
Kev: It was no problem, Gill. I remembered from last time.
Gill: You sure are as sharp as a sphere!
Kev: You bet I am! Now help me tie my new shoes.

by von groovy July 21, 2017

beer death experience

The point in the night or early morning that one cannot taste the flavor of the beer they are drinking because they have drank so many. It is very unfortunate.

Laura's recent beer death experience truly caused her to rethink her choices and she returned to simply getting stoned.

by von groovy August 4, 2017