von groovy's definitions

Facial tattoo

A regrettable decision for which judgement will be harsh and humiliating forever and ever.

As Braden hit send on a text from no return, he knew he may as well be in a tattoo parlor receiving a facial tattoo.

by von groovy July 17, 2024

transparently

This is a retort to when someone alleges they are being fully transparent when they are, in fact, utterly full of shit!

Loni: "I was so ready to help you all with that emergency work, but I am being fully transparent when I say that I was too upset to be able to do anything. I'm sorry but .."
Jake: "You're not sorry. You were outside eating Chick-Fil-A playing on your phone. It seems you are transparently trying to act like you give a shit. You don't, Loni! And I don't care about you..."

by von groovy August 22, 2024

adding an ie

Something people do when speaking in order to make something sound more cute and non-confrontational, yet tremendously annoying. (It's okay if your mom does it until you're 5.)

Shannon: I saw Hannah the other day when she was messing with her phone and asked her if she needed some helpie. She shot me a look like she would kill me! OMG!
Lori: Sounds like she needed a huggie. That's too baddie!
Lauren: STFU you 2! Maybe stop adding an ie and act like you are over 5. Now leave me alon "E!"

by von groovy June 21, 2017

oral compass

The means in which someone deceptively talks their way out of getting into any serious trouble for something wrong that they did. It is the inner lying ability that guides them to safety and it is not to be confused with the immoral compass.

Marco: Did you hear about Gabe? Last night at the party, he got caught in a closet with Misty by her boyfriend, Steel.
Paulo: Nightmare! Is he hospitalized? Or in the morgue? Steel is all 'roided out these days.
Marco: Nope. He's fine. He used his oral compass to talk himself to safety. He said they were looking for glowworms.
Paulo: Well, Steel is pretty dumb.

by von groovy June 11, 2017

No teeth beneath

This is a phrase that you tell someone when they say performing cunnilingus is gross. It's a retort suggesting there's no danger to doing it as there are no teeth involved.

Darryl: "Man, Antonio you gettin' in there with your mouth on her? She's been around and seems unclean."
Antonio: "She's clean and that's all gossip. Giving the kiss of bliss is another way I express my feelings for her. It brings us both pleasure. Besides, no teeth beneath so it's safer than necking. Ha! Don't be so all salad, now, lil' D"

by von groovy July 1, 2024

Tragic Chapstick

This is the term for fluids - tears that flow from the eyes down to the mouth. They help hydrate dried out lips from begging someone to not break up with you.

As Carmen continued to weep and beg for Aiden to not end things, her cracked and sore lips began to feel some comfort from the never-ending tears from her eyes. The only good thing for her that day was that her Tragic Chapstick made things a bit better.

by von groovy March 5, 2025

alsohole

Well, you know. There's always somewhere else to go to lick or stick... These are trying times. It can be anyone's.

Mandy and Brody were getting pretty into it when they mutually mentioned the option of the alsohole and both said yes to their own. It made things awkward and then sexy!!!

by von groovy July 28, 2024