von groovy's definitions

cleavage is your friend!

A phrase people say when they see or have nice cleavage. Everybody wants to see it or have it!!!

Joel was sipping on his coffee when a lady with some serious presentation strolled in the cafe. He gawked at what was exposed in her tank-top and declared, "Cleavage is your friend! Coffee for everybody on me - including Chesty MacDoogal!!!"

by von groovy May 3, 2019

emotional gymnastics

These are a series of skilled movements involving all sorts of feelings and thinking in order to get oneself successfully through a negative situation with another person. It's tough and you have to be quick, strong, and flexible at all times to win this competition.

Sharon: "Did you hear about Ashlynn?"
Lisa: "I loathe that bitch. She tried messing with me last month and demonstrated that I can do emotional gymnastics at a gold medal level! She started crying and hyperventilating. I was in top form!"
Sharon: "She's dead."
Lisa: "Hmmm. Are we going to Chick Fil' A or what? I'm starving over here."

by von groovy July 2, 2024

intentional letters for chaos

This when someone utters words simply to start an argument. No one wants this. Well, some do and fuck them! Not literally.

Leo:"Hey honey. Does this shirt make me.

look fat"
Leah: "What?!? I won't fall for your

intentional letters for chaos.

again! And that shirt is mine!"

by von groovy July 17, 2024

stretching feelings

After having caught feelings for someone but not telling them thereby keeping yourself in an awkward and miserable state. You go through the stages of anxiety, sadness, and butterfly belly. It's terrible.

Jaimie: "Hey! What's up with Jackson? Is he okay?"
Jill: "I can't tell you the whole story, but he's in a bad way. He's beyond smitten for someone unavailable for months."
Jaime: "Yikes! So he's just stretching feelings? He needs to do something and do it fast!"

Jill: "I know. If he don't he'll soon be pisserable. He's such a sweetheart. I really feel for him."

by von groovy June 26, 2024

Fuck you and your Teeth

This is what you say to someone who insults you as their teeth are participants in their mouths assault against you.

Mandy: "Listen trick! You have no play! Now go suck some disturbing dicks in the bus station to go get your next latte!"
Mandy: " Wow! I just said your anklets were tacky. Fuck you and your teeth! I hear your dad's glory hole is lonely...!"

by von groovy July 5, 2024

Get your nopes up

Something to tell a friend when they foolishly have their hopes up and it just ain't gonna happen.

Bart: "I'm gonna ask Trixie to the prom! We'll get a limo and stay at the Four Seasons! I'll get my weenie wet in all the right ways!"
Archie: "Slow down, B-man! Trixie is going with the Ad-man! You'd better get your nopes up and back to your garbage reality."

by von groovy August 25, 2018

cap-wearing bitch

What you call a liar who is trying to stir up some trouble

Nancy: "So, I told them that I know more than they do about those things. Don't trust them at all! I know truth!"
Silent G: "Nope! You did no such thing you cap-wearing bitch! Now go fetch me some tea."
Nancy: "Yes, queen. Sweet or Tooth-crackin' sweet?"

by von groovy August 4, 2024