2 definitions by shonuf

1. A perverse sexual act originating in Francophone Canada during the Seven Years War with the British. Realizing that French soldiers were mostly pants-wetting surrender monkeys, the French Canadian generals invented Canada's History as a means of psychological warfare against superior British forces.

- When a British soldier was captured, the French would sodomize him with a set of moose antlers for days on end, collecting the blood and fecal matter (santorum) that oozed out of his ravaged sphincter into a large silver chalice mounted on a pedestal. During his torture the Brit was deprived of food. Once the victim was near starvation a French Canadian petty officer, all of whom were nick-named "Stanley" would present the Brit with the befouled chalice and bid him to drink it.

If the Brit refused, Stanley would ply him with a little maple syrup from a bottle that he kept up his ass. Once the Brit tasted the syrup he would beg for more, and Stanley would pour the remaining syrup into the offal filled chalice, saying "drink from the Stanley Cup or starve!"

After the victim finally drank from the cup, he would be allowed to return to the British army, with the French Canadians advising him: "tell your fellow soldiers to remember Canada's History before they attack us again"!

2. A Canadian smut magazine that was once called "The Beaver"
1. Francois: "If you don't stop picking on me after school, I'm gonna borrow my dad's moose antler's and Canada's History your ass!"

2. Jean Claude: "Lets drink some wine and try out a Canada's History Tonight ma cherie"

Martine: "Only if you bought me organic maple syrup".
by shonuf February 6, 2010
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"I always rip a kilo gaffer before I bang a hooker"
by shonuf January 28, 2008
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