Technically a human, but more accurately described as a device. This item is used by women to housesit or catsit while they are away, help them move, help them with difficult subjects at university and to provide a shield against the unwanted advances of other males. They can also be used in a pinch as a default date for social gatherings such as company parties and weddings. Despite seeing obvious merit in this person, the female of the species will never date them or have physical contact with them. Neither will they introduce them to their friends because a) see above and b) they'd hate to find out they made a mistake and overlooked someone suitable. The female of the species will always refer to them as 'friends'. Note this species is rapidly becoming extinct, as the futility of being a nice guy becomes more and more obvious.
You are a nice guy, but Cheri lives about three hours away and there's no point in you calling her. By the way, can I see your algebra assignment?