A Goepfert is a real motherfucker. Goepferts are most known for their ability to crush Bud Light and pleasure themselves to NASCAR reruns.
Oh man, I was a total Goepfert last night. I can't believe I got so drunk that I sent Matt Kenseth dick-pic.
by moutainchew June 22, 2017
A "recti" refers to the instant an ice hockey goalie is beaten so bad - they fall to their stomach while trying to keep up with the stick-handling speed and skill of the shooter.
"The shooter showed the keeper forehand enough to get him recti as he drew the puck across the crease and buried it in the net."
by moutainchew February 12, 2018