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Definitions by gastroenterologist

adjective - (1) the condition or quality of an individual being so full of shit it's coming out their ears;

(2) (archaic) description for manic bards who can't keep their shit together;
(3) a personality assessment of the person reading this right now
Examples:

"That's the most jerkable bullshit I ever heard."

"Laura is jerkable in the worst way."

"Cut it out, you jerkable asshole!"
noun - (1) the condition or quality of an individual being so full of shit it's coming out their ears;

(2) (archaic) description for manic bards who can't keep their shit together
(3) an apt description of the person reading this right now
Example: "Cut it out, you jerkable asshole!"

mayonnaise spoon 

noun; the act of cuddling after sexual intercourse without washing the genitals and/or bed linens.
"The difference between having sex and making love is the mayonnaise spoon."

"The hooker I paid for last night charged me extra for the mayonnaise spoon."

"Mayonnaise spoons show your partner how much you care for them."