1 definition by bubblegummel
Now found in most areas of Britain, (to the horror of us all) the Chav is a human sub-species that survives on council tax and thrives on making the lives of every functional member of society, that little bit more painful!
Chavs seem to have developed there own language due to the fact they cannot understand nor learn the traditional proper English like rest of the country.
Both chav males and females usually have more than 1 partner, indulging in random bursts of sexual acts at local bus stops, outside shops and in banged up but 'pimped out' old cars.
You can easily spot a Chav by their hilarious yet disturbing appearance.
Males consist of tracksuit bottoms and a baggy Fred Perry sweatshirt, accompanied with tacky white trainers and a cap balacned on top their heads.
Females also wear tracksuit bottoms, but sport much more unattractive, usaully dirty tops that are 3 sizes to small. The hair is always dirty/greasy and is either pulled in to a ponytail so tight that wrinkles are forms on the forehead or it is left dangling down limply.
Always watch out for either the cheap or very expensive (but always tacky and ugly) gold jewellery.
If you are confronted by a chav, (this will always be when other chavs are around, as they hope to attract a mate or gain admiration), just use any word with 3 syllables or above, and walk away when the look of confusion and anger spread across their face.
Chavs seem to have developed there own language due to the fact they cannot understand nor learn the traditional proper English like rest of the country.
Both chav males and females usually have more than 1 partner, indulging in random bursts of sexual acts at local bus stops, outside shops and in banged up but 'pimped out' old cars.
You can easily spot a Chav by their hilarious yet disturbing appearance.
Males consist of tracksuit bottoms and a baggy Fred Perry sweatshirt, accompanied with tacky white trainers and a cap balacned on top their heads.
Females also wear tracksuit bottoms, but sport much more unattractive, usaully dirty tops that are 3 sizes to small. The hair is always dirty/greasy and is either pulled in to a ponytail so tight that wrinkles are forms on the forehead or it is left dangling down limply.
Always watch out for either the cheap or very expensive (but always tacky and ugly) gold jewellery.
If you are confronted by a chav, (this will always be when other chavs are around, as they hope to attract a mate or gain admiration), just use any word with 3 syllables or above, and walk away when the look of confusion and anger spread across their face.
Chav language:
Chav 1: 'Ere ya gimp. Got a fag?
Chav 2: Nah, ye dik'ead. Dant call mi a gimp.
How to get away from a conflict with a Chav:
Chav 1: 'Ere mate. Got 'ny dosh?
Person: Do you meen money? No sorry, I don't.
Chav 1: Well let us check ya pockets.
Person: What? No!
Chav 1: Why? Ya sayin' I'm dodgy or summet? Ya fuckin' Emo!
Chav 2: Yeah mate! Kick 'is 'ead in!
Chav 3: Whay! Fuckin' get in there ma son!
Chav 1: Yeah, I fink I'll giv ya a smack just t' teach ya not to fuck 'bout wit' me!
Person: Very well, assault me if it will give you satisfaction. But it will not change the undeniable fact that you, my socially and academically challenged friend, will amount to no more than drug dealer or at best a McDonalds worker in your pathetic life.
Chav 1: (black stare) Ya fuckin' what? (To other chavs) What did this bell-end sniffa' jus' say ta me?
Chav 2: 'Avent a fuckin' clue.
Chav 3: He used to many, like fuckin', school words or summet.
(Person walks away unharmed while the gaggle of chavs continue to argue.)
Chav 1: 'Ere ya gimp. Got a fag?
Chav 2: Nah, ye dik'ead. Dant call mi a gimp.
How to get away from a conflict with a Chav:
Chav 1: 'Ere mate. Got 'ny dosh?
Person: Do you meen money? No sorry, I don't.
Chav 1: Well let us check ya pockets.
Person: What? No!
Chav 1: Why? Ya sayin' I'm dodgy or summet? Ya fuckin' Emo!
Chav 2: Yeah mate! Kick 'is 'ead in!
Chav 3: Whay! Fuckin' get in there ma son!
Chav 1: Yeah, I fink I'll giv ya a smack just t' teach ya not to fuck 'bout wit' me!
Person: Very well, assault me if it will give you satisfaction. But it will not change the undeniable fact that you, my socially and academically challenged friend, will amount to no more than drug dealer or at best a McDonalds worker in your pathetic life.
Chav 1: (black stare) Ya fuckin' what? (To other chavs) What did this bell-end sniffa' jus' say ta me?
Chav 2: 'Avent a fuckin' clue.
Chav 3: He used to many, like fuckin', school words or summet.
(Person walks away unharmed while the gaggle of chavs continue to argue.)
by bubblegummel February 6, 2008