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Definitions by bethie horton mcjenniejane

photoshopspicious

The tendency to suspect that strange photographs are photoshopped.
When Jethro sent me that pitcher of hisself ridin' a damn cow what had two heads and five legs, I gotta admit, I were mighty photoshopspicious.

Pork Flu 

Pork flu: Also known as "We1SoBite1" is a new strain of influenza that traces its origins to Washington DC. Its present mutated form appears to have begun shortly after the omnibus spending bill revealed a severe addiction to pork consumption. Symptoms, which follow within minutes of viewing omnibus spending bills, include shock, fever, nausea, vomiting, and running away screaming to relocate in foreign countries.
Bobo: Hey, what the hell is wrong with Tyler? He was reading the omnibus spending bill online and next thing you know, he's sweating, shaking, throwing up, and mumbling something about moving to the South Pacific. Do you think he's got swine flu?

Yodo: Nah. Just overexposure to earmark spending. It's not swine flu. It's pork flu.

Bigging the question 

In a press conference, when a reporter is called on to ask a question, and instead of asking one question, asks three to five more questions so quickly that the politician on camera can't stop her while remaining polite.
President: Ellen, your question?
Ellen: Yes, Mister President, what do you plan to do about North Korea and do you foresee good news on the economic forefront and what is the status in Afghanistan and are you really considering getting two more dogs and do you think the White Sox will win the pennant this year?
President (still smiling politely): Well, Ellen, I suppose that could be considered bigging the question.

Trigabuck 

(noun) one trillion dollars; (descr. noun) the amount the US government is trying to scam from the US taxpayers--Nigerian-spoof style.
Telephone conversation between Bob and Tom:

Bob: "Hey, Tom, I heard those idiot mortgage dudes scammed their companies and left with their pockets full of gigabucks."

Tom:"Yes, they did. And now the taxpayers are going to bail them out to the tune of 999 gigabucks!"

Bob: "Whew. Could be worse, though. One more gigabuck, and we'd be paying a trigabuck. I'm going to have a beer to celebrate how close we came to THAT."

George Bush, listening in to their conversation by wiretap, on the grounds that they could be Nigerian terrorists trying to scam US taxpayers out of a trillion dollars: "Uh, Bob. About that beer--not so fast, there, dude."