1 definition by belvitagod1029

A Jalen is a guy that gives the first impression that he is mostly chill and fun to hang out with. However, under that gregarious, innocent facade is the most manipulative, selfish, and egotistical son of a bitch you will have wished you never met. He will toy with your feelings like a puppet master pulling delicate strings without you knowing. He will toss your convictions out the window, as if they never mattered to him in the first place. A Jalen is like a fighter jet, dropping devastating bombs on a ship, then celebrating his "victories." As time goes on, it will become exasperating to even communicate with a Jalen, as these abhorrent, anomalous entities will constantly barrage you with the same questions in every conversation. They lack the ability to think critically, and their brain is observed to be shaped similarly to a cow penis. At all costs, you must avoid coming into contact with one, as it will be your greatest mistake. Once a Jalen latches onto your soul, they will cling for eternity, and will prevent you from getting to Heaven (or whatever afterlife you believe in).
Ew, what is that guy doing sniffing the kid's used clothes? There's no doubt, it must be a Jalen!
by belvitagod1029 July 15, 2022
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