2 definitions by asf
a horribly unfunny comedian with the most irratating voice in the world, no comedic timing and no idea what a punchline is, just disguises random words that vageuly relate to the subject as one. Also noted for seeing racism where there is none.
Chris Rock: Doctors don't cure shit! They don't cure shit! The last disease doctors cured was polio, when's the last time you met someone with polio?
Impersonating a boss and his employee
Chris Rock: "Why weren't you at work today?" "Oh, my polio's actin' up again!" They don't cure shit!
me:what the hell? why is that funny?? how does it relate? what does the extinction of disease have to do with Physicians "not curing shit"
Chris Rock: There are three types of women in the world: A: Women that give NO head. B: Women that give just enough head to shut ya up and my favorite C: the women that want nothing more than to suck a dick.
me:uhhh..ok. what about women is enjoy it ocassinally? to only certain ppl? wont suck a horribly unfunny guys dick? I could go on and on dissing this very inconclusive, poorly thought out "punchline"
Chris Rock: Guys, have you ever been with your lady in bed and you both talkin' dirty then you say somethin' that got you kicked out of bed. Where the woman's like "Fuck me! Harder, harder, harder! Fuck me daddy! Fuck me! Fuck me! Spank me! Fuck me!" "Alright, ya ho!" "Who're you callin' a ho? Who da fuck are you callin' a ho? Untie me!"
me:no. creepy fucker
Chris Rock: God forbid some brown people got wealthy... We can't have that! Because drugs come from brown countries. We can't have no wealthy brown people! There are no wealthy black or brown people in America.
me:Oprah, Denzel, Will Smith, your unfunny ass, Cosby.
“Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? People are nice to ya, they give you the beneift o' the doubt... You drive a flash car down the freeway and the cops'll pull y'over and before they even look they like 'What the f**k are you doing?' and then they see it's you and they like 'Awww man, it's Chris Rock, it's okay, man we thought you was a nigga'
me:its not a matter of race. white people+white celebs get pulled over. Exact same thing happens. they let the celeb go. they give the mid class a hard time. thanks for seeing things that arent there.
Impersonating a boss and his employee
Chris Rock: "Why weren't you at work today?" "Oh, my polio's actin' up again!" They don't cure shit!
me:what the hell? why is that funny?? how does it relate? what does the extinction of disease have to do with Physicians "not curing shit"
Chris Rock: There are three types of women in the world: A: Women that give NO head. B: Women that give just enough head to shut ya up and my favorite C: the women that want nothing more than to suck a dick.
me:uhhh..ok. what about women is enjoy it ocassinally? to only certain ppl? wont suck a horribly unfunny guys dick? I could go on and on dissing this very inconclusive, poorly thought out "punchline"
Chris Rock: Guys, have you ever been with your lady in bed and you both talkin' dirty then you say somethin' that got you kicked out of bed. Where the woman's like "Fuck me! Harder, harder, harder! Fuck me daddy! Fuck me! Fuck me! Spank me! Fuck me!" "Alright, ya ho!" "Who're you callin' a ho? Who da fuck are you callin' a ho? Untie me!"
me:no. creepy fucker
Chris Rock: God forbid some brown people got wealthy... We can't have that! Because drugs come from brown countries. We can't have no wealthy brown people! There are no wealthy black or brown people in America.
me:Oprah, Denzel, Will Smith, your unfunny ass, Cosby.
“Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? People are nice to ya, they give you the beneift o' the doubt... You drive a flash car down the freeway and the cops'll pull y'over and before they even look they like 'What the f**k are you doing?' and then they see it's you and they like 'Awww man, it's Chris Rock, it's okay, man we thought you was a nigga'
me:its not a matter of race. white people+white celebs get pulled over. Exact same thing happens. they let the celeb go. they give the mid class a hard time. thanks for seeing things that arent there.
by asf April 20, 2006
1. A rice cooker with an H symbol on it. Capable of cooking rice with excess engine heat.
2. An american driver on a japanese potential.
2. An american driver on a japanese potential.
Shit, my civic ran out of batteries. Oh well...time to bitch at my hamsters not running quick enough.
by asf May 16, 2003