bassists

The professional designation of those who study the demarcation devices signifying quartile success in the game of baseball.

At every major league ballpark the bassists gather in the designated boxes and continuously scan the bags with their binoculars, hoping to see the evolutionary morph into becoming a home plate. It happens so quickly, no one has ever captured it in a picture, but each night ground crews at every park leave 4 bags out on the diamond, and next morning one has become home plate.

by You rReal Name July 23, 2020

Millenientality

The self-important state of thinking in the mind of an over privileged, over educated, over funded 20-30-something who opines that the worst thing in the world for them is when you answer a friend in her home..."Would you like some water?" with "Yes, please." and then you hear her running the tap in the kitchen.

Jessica and Michael, bonded by being the most popular names EVER, expressed their innate millenientality by supporting Donald Trump because he "stood up for them against the fake news,” He was of the age where his millenientality showed every time he got on his soapbox about requiring manufacturers of face masks to certify in writing that the black ones worked just as well as the white.

by You rReal Name May 31, 2020

Manupulated

When your buddy has thoroughly convinced you it is time to tale responsibility for a big issue in your life, you now are challenged to "cowboy up" and get the tough jobs done.

Bob had historically been in self denial over his divorce, but his best man, Jock, manupulated him to accept responsibility for being caught in the marital sack with another woman, his wife's younger sister. Regrettably, that was on his wedding might.

by You rReal Name November 02, 2022

Cuncillor

A contraction of “cunning councillors”, those elected municipal representatives who are so smart they invent projects that always benefit their bank accounts FIRST while ONLY APPEARING to benefit the townspeople. Also can be used as an expletive to express a general dissatisfaction with elected officials.

There was no doubt that after the Contentious debate the Cuncillors were responsible for the flawed contract. It paid them each 5% of the gross deal under the table and townsfolk paid only double the going rate for asphalt paving.

by You rReal Name July 25, 2020

Bobotomy

The first in a planned series of personalized brain surgeries which remove all traces of the common character traits of all the Bobs you ever knew. The steadfastness and resolve of the “Robert”, and the good looks and endearments of “Rob” in him are left alone, but all the fun-loving eccentricities and the “no pun left behind” attitude simply disappear on the cutting room floor. If the clinic is proven to successfully restructure Bob, the Joebotomy will arrive in time for the election. Any old Joe you choose can be transformed with a few deft cuts to become Barack or Bill-like at the molecular level. The Flobotomy follows and offers back a serious insurance agent where once only a floozy lived.

Bob had tried all of the run of the mill brain surgeries to make himself more docile, less irritating...but when the Bobotomy was introduced in ‘19 he was first in line for it and he was able to live a benign yet fruitful life. Never again would the world be subjected to bad puns and childish practical jokes.

by You rReal Name August 19, 2020

underdo

The complete lack of the ability to complete tasks with the normally accepted level of completeness from an average intellect. Ineffective. Lazy, but does actually perform small tasks on occasion.

Bob, despite many years of experience, was a complete failure at finishing jobs of a high quality. Instead, he would inevitably underdo even the simplest of tasks. He left so much to be completed by others and would always be underdue as well.

by You rReal Name February 24, 2022

Autovile

Any person who has spent enough money on a car that he/she becomes unbearably prejudiced whenever conversing about cars.
Alternate: A person standing alone being an absolute jerk.

I find that, at parties, when I try to talk about various great cars that an autovile will inevitably steal the conversation by claiming he has tried them all and ended up in an audience} so privileged that I have to leave, lest I have to give him an expunation of my disgust.

by You rReal Name November 22, 2019