You rReal Name's definitions

biangulation

Being able to locate precisely with only 2 "sightings". Humans and dogs, will use JUST noise entering our 2 ears to get a precise knowledge of where a noise is coming from. Biangulation is finding stuff precisely with only 2 concurrent observations., not 3.

Dogs have been biangulating their way to cookie jars for centuries. So while a dog certainly has excellent smelling abilities, biangulation gets any dog DIRECTLY to the cookie jar with the slightest rattle of the lid.

by You rReal Name July 27, 2020

Toot Suite

For the moneyed millennial, an entire room set up for comfortable and relaxing farting alone or in groups. Airy, filtered airy, library-scaled magazine rack, beer fridge, franks and beans bubbling the stove, cabbage rolls. Fans, lots of fans. Wooden matchsticks for traditionalists.

In the loftier neighbourhoods os Silicon Valley, the true mark of a successful lactose intolerant millennial is a mansion with a Toot Suite for casual entertaining after the annual Beans 'n' Broccoli Festival Cruise.

by You rReal Name March 10, 2023

Persintage

The exact degree of sin that you just committed. Expressed as "GUILTY-01" to "GUILTY-100". So a quick butt-pat of your secretary in the halls might be GUILTY-01, while a three way with and at your Mother-in-law's Bridge Club is GUILTY-100.

Allan was a recent groom, and as such he had not learned his persintage catechism. He thought that just "checking out a cute butt" was off the scale, but that has been judged GUILTY-27 for years.

by You rReal Name August 8, 2020

Bobotomy

The first in a planned series of personalized brain surgeries which remove all traces of the common character traits of all the Bobs you ever knew. The steadfastness and resolve of the “Robert”, and the good looks and endearments of “Rob” in him are left alone, but all the fun-loving eccentricities and the “no pun left behind” attitude simply disappear on the cutting room floor. If the clinic is proven to successfully restructure Bob, the Joebotomy will arrive in time for the election. Any old Joe you choose can be transformed with a few deft cuts to become Barack or Bill-like at the molecular level. The Flobotomy follows and offers back a serious insurance agent where once only a floozy lived.

Bob had tried all of the run of the mill brain surgeries to make himself more docile, less irritating...but when the Bobotomy was introduced in ‘19 he was first in line for it and he was able to live a benign yet fruitful life. Never again would the world be subjected to bad puns and childish practical jokes.

by You rReal Name August 19, 2020

underdo

The complete lack of the ability to complete tasks with the normally accepted level of completeness from an average intellect. Ineffective. Lazy, but does actually perform small tasks on occasion.

Bob, despite many years of experience, was a complete failure at finishing jobs of a high quality. Instead, he would inevitably underdo even the simplest of tasks. He left so much to be completed by others and would always be underdue as well.

by You rReal Name February 24, 2022

Liatribe

An angry rant on any topic in which absolutely nothing said is true. Every word of every sentence is simply one lie after another

Bob was at the end of his blogging rope. He could no longer maintain interest in his blog without creating a new liatribe every day in which he mislead his readers with ever increasing madness. Never again would he be believed on any topic.

by You rReal Name December 24, 2020

Cuncillor

A contraction of “cunning councillors”, those elected municipal representatives who are so smart they invent projects that always benefit their bank accounts FIRST while ONLY APPEARING to benefit the townspeople. Also can be used as an expletive to express a general dissatisfaction with elected officials.

There was no doubt that after the Contentious debate the Cuncillors were responsible for the flawed contract. It paid them each 5% of the gross deal under the table and townsfolk paid only double the going rate for asphalt paving.

by You rReal Name July 25, 2020