Definitions by Yard Panther

crystabating 

Depressive masturbation using tears as lubricant when one has had a crushing sexual let down

"Where's that little bitch johnny",

"oh he's probably at home crystabating"

crystabating by Yard Panther February 13, 2019

dirty jaimie 

A thirsty middle aged mildly unattractive man who likes to think he can attract many jizz bungalows specifically for the intent of group sex, unfortunately these often end in him crystabating

Look at that Dirty Jaimie, poor bastard

dirty jaimie by Yard Panther February 13, 2019