Beluga Heights

When a male is engaged in sexual intercourse and instead of ejaculating on her face, he punches her in the face and shouts, "BELUGA HEIGHTS!!!". His friend then jumps out of the closet with a video camera and shouts, "J-J-J-J-J-RRR!!!". A random stranger may or may not enter the room screaming, "JASON DERULO!!!"
Guy: "I'm Cumming!!!"

Girl: *closes eyes, opens mouth*

Guy: *punches girl in face* "BELUGA HEIGHTS!!!!!"

Girl: "OOOOOWWWW!!!" "What was that for?"

Guy's Friend: "J-J-J-J-J-RRR!!!"

Girl: "What the hell is going on?" "Is that a camera?"

Random Stranger: "JASON DERULOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Girl: "Somebody KILL ME!!!" *weeps*
by White Guy on a Bike July 12, 2010
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TOMS Shoes

An extraordinarily uncomfortable pair of canvas slippers that offer no arch support and will give you a sprained ankle every time you wear them. If you buy a pair of TOMS Shoes, the company will send an identical pair of these dangerous shoes to a child in a third-world country so they too can roll their ankle and walk with an awkward gait.

TOMS Shoes are made of unstructured canvas and cloth, making them even cheaper than the Chuck Taylor. They are popular with hipsters and kids that think they can save the world by buying things for themselves.

Wearers of TOMS Shoes truly and honestly think they are helping poor children by giving them free shoes; however, wearing TOMS may be more hazardous than going barefoot.
Aspiring Hippie NYU Student: - "I wear TOMS Shoes so an orphan in Columbia can get a free pair of shoes!!!

**rolls her ankle**

"Dammit! Not again..."
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Teen Girl: - I can't believe you're selfish enough to buy Asics! if you bought a pair of Toms, like the Jonas Brothers, some poor kid would have free shoes

Runner: - TOMS Shoes will give the child a lifetime of podiatric issues, why would I wish that on anyone? Know What? As soon as Asics gives away free Kayanos to Africa, I'll buy ten pairs!
by White Guy on a Bike July 18, 2010
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