White Guy on a Bike's definitions
Ashburn, VA is a town in Loudoun County located between Leesburg and Sterling. The original town was built as a vacation spot for people in Washington, D.C.
But, nobody cares about that...
Today, Ashburn is an upscale planned community with some odd quirks: Despite being built by several developers, every, single, house has the same floorplan. Ashburn homes are rather large, exceeding 4,000 SqFt. Yards around these houses are smaller than the houses themselves and one can easily see into their neighbours' house as they are never more than six feet apart. No place of business is open past midnight in Ashburn, excepting gas stations. This, coupled with the youth of Ashburn's propensity for soft drugs, has caused many a drunk or stoned youth to trek to 7-11 and mill inside for at least a half-hour. Every adult in Ashburn is obsessed with fitness and is compelled to bicycle in the middle of the road regardless of whether trails are paved on both sides.
But, nobody cares about that...
Today, Ashburn is an upscale planned community with some odd quirks: Despite being built by several developers, every, single, house has the same floorplan. Ashburn homes are rather large, exceeding 4,000 SqFt. Yards around these houses are smaller than the houses themselves and one can easily see into their neighbours' house as they are never more than six feet apart. No place of business is open past midnight in Ashburn, excepting gas stations. This, coupled with the youth of Ashburn's propensity for soft drugs, has caused many a drunk or stoned youth to trek to 7-11 and mill inside for at least a half-hour. Every adult in Ashburn is obsessed with fitness and is compelled to bicycle in the middle of the road regardless of whether trails are paved on both sides.
Out-of-towner: - "I had the hardest time finding your place, every house looks the same around here!"
Ashburn-er - "What do you mean?" "Our's has brick on the front"
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Angry Neighbour: - "I think your son was peeping while I was changing!!!
Confused Mom: - "Our windows almost touch, we can read your newspaper when your curtains aren't drawn; I'm sure it was an accident"
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Stoned Kid: - "Damn, I want a Crunchwrap Supreme!
Drunk Kid: - "Bummer dude, Taco Bell closed at midnight.
Stoned Kid: - "What's open at 1:30?
Drunk Kid: - "IHOP, 7-11...that's it
Stoned Kid: - "Slurpeeeeeeee!!1!"
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Biker: - "Yay!" "I'm biking in the street!!!"
Angry Man in M6: - "What are you doing?" "Go ride the W&OD like everyone else!!!"
Ashburn-er - "What do you mean?" "Our's has brick on the front"
________________________________________________
Angry Neighbour: - "I think your son was peeping while I was changing!!!
Confused Mom: - "Our windows almost touch, we can read your newspaper when your curtains aren't drawn; I'm sure it was an accident"
________________________________________________
Stoned Kid: - "Damn, I want a Crunchwrap Supreme!
Drunk Kid: - "Bummer dude, Taco Bell closed at midnight.
Stoned Kid: - "What's open at 1:30?
Drunk Kid: - "IHOP, 7-11...that's it
Stoned Kid: - "Slurpeeeeeeee!!1!"
________________________________________________
Biker: - "Yay!" "I'm biking in the street!!!"
Angry Man in M6: - "What are you doing?" "Go ride the W&OD like everyone else!!!"
by White Guy on a Bike July 18, 2010
Get the Ashburn mug.Another name for day-labourers. Rather than giving the independent labour consultants derogatory or assumptive titles like Spics, Illegals, or Mexicans; one can call them "Sexy Singles"
Guy: "Look at all those sexy singles chilling in front of Home Depot!"
Girl checking Gmail: "The pop-up ad says there are sexy singles within two miles of my house." "Funny, there are at least four 7-11's within two miles of my house"
Girl checking Gmail: "The pop-up ad says there are sexy singles within two miles of my house." "Funny, there are at least four 7-11's within two miles of my house"
by White Guy on a Bike November 16, 2010
Get the Sexy Singles mug.