White Guy on a Bike's definitions
An extraordinarily uncomfortable pair of canvas slippers that offer no arch support and will give you a sprained ankle every time you wear them. If you buy a pair of TOMS Shoes, the company will send an identical pair of these dangerous shoes to a child in a third-world country so they too can roll their ankle and walk with an awkward gait.
TOMS Shoes are made of unstructured canvas and cloth, making them even cheaper than the Chuck Taylor. They are popular with hipsters and kids that think they can save the world by buying things for themselves.
Wearers of TOMS Shoes truly and honestly think they are helping poor children by giving them free shoes; however, wearing TOMS may be more hazardous than going barefoot.
TOMS Shoes are made of unstructured canvas and cloth, making them even cheaper than the Chuck Taylor. They are popular with hipsters and kids that think they can save the world by buying things for themselves.
Wearers of TOMS Shoes truly and honestly think they are helping poor children by giving them free shoes; however, wearing TOMS may be more hazardous than going barefoot.
Aspiring Hippie NYU Student: - "I wear TOMS Shoes so an orphan in Columbia can get a free pair of shoes!!!
**rolls her ankle**
"Dammit! Not again..."
________________________________________________
Teen Girl: - I can't believe you're selfish enough to buy Asics! if you bought a pair of Toms, like the Jonas Brothers, some poor kid would have free shoes
Runner: - TOMS Shoes will give the child a lifetime of podiatric issues, why would I wish that on anyone? Know What? As soon as Asics gives away free Kayanos to Africa, I'll buy ten pairs!
**rolls her ankle**
"Dammit! Not again..."
________________________________________________
Teen Girl: - I can't believe you're selfish enough to buy Asics! if you bought a pair of Toms, like the Jonas Brothers, some poor kid would have free shoes
Runner: - TOMS Shoes will give the child a lifetime of podiatric issues, why would I wish that on anyone? Know What? As soon as Asics gives away free Kayanos to Africa, I'll buy ten pairs!
by White Guy on a Bike July 18, 2010
Get the TOMS Shoesmug. Place:
A town in northern Fairfax County between Sterling VA and McLean. Great Falls differs from most of Northern Virginia by having homes on very large yards and having no apartments or townhomes whatsoever. Because it offers a wealth of land and privacy in the middle of the D.C. metro area, homes and estates in Great Falls command very high prices. Within Great Falls is a park with waterfalls that take the lives of several kayakers a year and cliffs that injure dozens of freeclimbers and parkour enthusiasts.
Great Falls has no sidewalks, but many cyclists. There are also many exotic sports cars and fast, winding roads. Because of this, Great Falls has more cyclists hit by Ferraris than any other part of the country. Everyone in Great Falls knows who their neighbour is but has never met them, mostly because 12-foot gates are not very welcoming. There are only two roads to travel from Great Falls to Washington, D.C. This leads to failtastic traffic jams all day.
A town in northern Fairfax County between Sterling VA and McLean. Great Falls differs from most of Northern Virginia by having homes on very large yards and having no apartments or townhomes whatsoever. Because it offers a wealth of land and privacy in the middle of the D.C. metro area, homes and estates in Great Falls command very high prices. Within Great Falls is a park with waterfalls that take the lives of several kayakers a year and cliffs that injure dozens of freeclimbers and parkour enthusiasts.
Great Falls has no sidewalks, but many cyclists. There are also many exotic sports cars and fast, winding roads. Because of this, Great Falls has more cyclists hit by Ferraris than any other part of the country. Everyone in Great Falls knows who their neighbour is but has never met them, mostly because 12-foot gates are not very welcoming. There are only two roads to travel from Great Falls to Washington, D.C. This leads to failtastic traffic jams all day.
Man in Great Falls: - "I paid $11 million for a 20,000 SqFt. house with a multi-level deck, infinity pool, tiki bar, pool house for my emo son, basement movie theater, five car garage, horse barn, ballroom, and two-story master bedroom. "
"Five months later, Dick Cheney moves in across the street. FML"
________________________________________________
Girl 1: - "What's that sound?"
Girl 2: - "That would be my next-door neighbour Gilbert Arenas having another party"
Girl 1: - "He sure is noisy for a dude that lives a quarter-mile down the road!"
________________________________________________
Mom in Great Falls: - "John Kerry lives next door"
Visitor: - "Oh?" "How is he?"
Mom in Great Falls: - "I have no idea, I've never met him"
________________________________________________
Guy: - "Some Verizon exec just got hit by a Lambo while he was biking in the road"
Friend: - "What an idiot!" "You'd think they'd build a bike trail for all the idiots in the middle of the road"
"Five months later, Dick Cheney moves in across the street. FML"
________________________________________________
Girl 1: - "What's that sound?"
Girl 2: - "That would be my next-door neighbour Gilbert Arenas having another party"
Girl 1: - "He sure is noisy for a dude that lives a quarter-mile down the road!"
________________________________________________
Mom in Great Falls: - "John Kerry lives next door"
Visitor: - "Oh?" "How is he?"
Mom in Great Falls: - "I have no idea, I've never met him"
________________________________________________
Guy: - "Some Verizon exec just got hit by a Lambo while he was biking in the road"
Friend: - "What an idiot!" "You'd think they'd build a bike trail for all the idiots in the middle of the road"
by White Guy on a Bike July 14, 2010
Get the Great Fallsmug.