Definitions by Trust me I'm smart

hairy turnculs

An original poster who does nothing but masterbate and post shit memes on 9gag

That guy who posted about dyslexic breasts was a real hairy turnculs

A pokemon go player who straps his iPhone to his wrist then spanks the mankey until it evolves.

Man that guys mankey is so strong bet he's just a hairy turncul trainer