1. An amazing girl who is truly 1 of 1—there’s no copy, no replacement, no second edition.
2. Always right. Not in a condescending way, just very smart, and her answer is probably right. Googling will not be necessary.
3. Eyebrows on fleek, hair always looks great.
4. Real life Snow White. Feeds the deer and raccoons.
5. Equal parts loving mom, stunning beauty, and all-around legend. She’s got a perfect ass, drinks Diet Pepsi like it’s bottled magic, and somehow ties you on the last game of bowling just to remind you she’s competitive.
6. She coined the word “Absolutely”™ before it was cool, prefers her rum with Diet Coke, and vibes out to Michael Jackson like it’s still the ’80s.
7. Her singing voice? Absolutely Angelic. Still owes me home made Mac and cheese.
8. Extremely thoughtful, kind, and treats you like gold. Hopefully, very forgiving, if for some reason your don't treat her like the rare gem she is.
9. She loves all things fall. Scary movies, leaves changing color, haunted houses. I'm sure enjoying them with her is a real treat. If you are taller, you are older. It's the rule.
2. Always right. Not in a condescending way, just very smart, and her answer is probably right. Googling will not be necessary.
3. Eyebrows on fleek, hair always looks great.
4. Real life Snow White. Feeds the deer and raccoons.
5. Equal parts loving mom, stunning beauty, and all-around legend. She’s got a perfect ass, drinks Diet Pepsi like it’s bottled magic, and somehow ties you on the last game of bowling just to remind you she’s competitive.
6. She coined the word “Absolutely”™ before it was cool, prefers her rum with Diet Coke, and vibes out to Michael Jackson like it’s still the ’80s.
7. Her singing voice? Absolutely Angelic. Still owes me home made Mac and cheese.
8. Extremely thoughtful, kind, and treats you like gold. Hopefully, very forgiving, if for some reason your don't treat her like the rare gem she is.
9. She loves all things fall. Scary movies, leaves changing color, haunted houses. I'm sure enjoying them with her is a real treat. If you are taller, you are older. It's the rule.
"Did you see the ass on that creature? Definitely got a Crysten on her, bro."
"Girl, you look good today. Got those eyebrows on Crysten."
"This is a one-of-a-kind piece here, you won't find another one in the entire world. A true Crysten."
"Man, I really messed up. I had a Crysten, and I let her get away."
"Girl, you look good today. Got those eyebrows on Crysten."
"This is a one-of-a-kind piece here, you won't find another one in the entire world. A true Crysten."
"Man, I really messed up. I had a Crysten, and I let her get away."
by Theleavesremindme September 09, 2025
Get the Crystenmug.