"Hi,
Internet Tech Support...what's your issue?"
"Fizzbin."
"You have an IP?"
"No. Your DHCP isn't passing out IPs. Am I banned?"
"Looks like your MAC is xxxx, you've been running a torrent?"
"
Yes, I'll stop."
"Cool. You're un-banned. Fizzbin."
"
Sweet. Catch you later."