Skip to main content

Definitions by The top fucking tier comedian

When I man or women tries to offer sex for a free pass on a crime.
Women: So officer, is there anyway we can just forget this ever happened? You can do whatever you want to me.

Police Officer: Bribery is not going to work. Ma’am, you just drove your car into a children’s hospital and threw a flash bang into the epileptic children’s ward.
Two words you never want to hear when working with nuclear power
The two words you never EVER want to hear when working with nuclear power.
Leonid Toptunov: Oh shit!
-Vladimir I. Lenin “Chernobyl” Nuclear Power Plant, April 26, 1986, 1:23:45 a.m.

Tolerance 

The extremely rare art of just not giving a single fuck.
Daniel: Dude, I just fucked Jacob’s girlfriend and he did absolutely nothing.

Mike: Oh yeah, he just has absurdly high tolerance