1 definition by The Worst Best Friend

Marriage

The removal of a guy from his male peers that follows with the "taming" event that turns him into a "man". This taming event does not turn the guy into a man, it turns him into a slave. This tamed guy will now spend more time with his wife than his friends (understandable and acceptable). The problem is when he brings her to everything and every thing he plans is a couples type of thing. As a slave he will no longer act in the manner he used to and will often try to make his friends as miserable as him. He will waste away his time and resources doing everything his wife demands of him and it will never be enough. He will never be adequately rewarded. The weight of the shackles of slavery increase with every kid they have.

My best friend got married. He changed into a bitch personality that matched his wife. He stopped hanging out with the guys and wanted me to go to Home Depot and Target with him and the wife. When the guys do something that interests him he has to bring the wife. The bastard would have brought his damn wife to his bachelor party if he could have. He started acting like he was part of a cliche and alienated some of his best friends.

As the "best man" during the marriage ritual I said the longest lie in my entire life and coated with so many nice things that every one thought it was amazing. If I had been a real best man, I would have been able to stop my friend from getting married.

I miss the guy my buddy used to be and I miss the good times with him and the rest of the guys. Every drink I take from the wedding gift mug you gave me goes out to you buddy. =(

by The Worst Best Friend June 15, 2009