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Definitions by The Freshman King

Planet Destroyer 

I was attending a friend’s wedding, and his planet destroyer bride made the menu all vegan. She’s 5’3” and 250 lbs…ain’t no way she’s vegan!

Orbital Commander 

Navigating through a group of fat people, either in a crowd or in a line
In order to move along the buffet line, I had to orbital commander around a group of fatties lingering around the chocolate fountain.