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Definitions by The East Stand Crusader

Grips my shit

When a person or act is found to be so annoying that it actually creates discomfort, almost as if someone is gripping internal organs.
He really is beginning to grip my shit.

Negotiate the release of some chocolate hostages 

The act of forcing oneself to defecate following a period of constipation
Blimey, I'm going to have to negotiate the release of some chocolate hostages