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Definitions by The East Stand Crusader

Negotiate the release of some chocolate hostages 

The act of forcing oneself to defecate following a period of constipation
Blimey, I'm going to have to negotiate the release of some chocolate hostages

Grips my shit

When a person or act is found to be so annoying that it actually creates discomfort, almost as if someone is gripping internal organs.
He really is beginning to grip my shit.