A theatre beater is the action of public masturbation inside of a movie theater. A theatre beater often happens during a moment of sexual tension or arousal within the movie being played; thus causing the movie goer to transition into a frenzy of their own personal delight. While often secretive, a theatre beater can be a distraction if done carelessly.
Hamilton: what was that man behind us doing?
Jerry: what man?
Hamilton: THE ONE INSIDE OF THR THEATRE TO TMNT!!
Jerry: oh him? He was getting in a rad theatre beater to Leonardo!!
Hamilton: HELL YEAH HE WAS, HE CAME ALL OVER TGE BACK OF MY HEAD!!
Jerry: what man?
Hamilton: THE ONE INSIDE OF THR THEATRE TO TMNT!!
Jerry: oh him? He was getting in a rad theatre beater to Leonardo!!
Hamilton: HELL YEAH HE WAS, HE CAME ALL OVER TGE BACK OF MY HEAD!!
by TMNT SCRAPER March 25, 2025