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James Cousins

Bruh James Cousins out here moving like a background NPC with no side quests. Man’s so irrelevant that if you Google him, the algorithm hits you back with “did you mean literally anyone else?” 💀

James be the type of dude who claps when the plane lands ✈️👏. His riz level? Negative. Bro walks up to a girl and she hits him with “aw, that’s sweet” before putting him in the cousin zone.

This man so mid he orders plain bread at Subway. So invisible that when he leaves a room, the lights turn off automatically — not ‘cause of sensors, but because even electricity don’t respect him. ⚡️

Bro probably brags about his 2K build like it’s his actual resume. And his haircut? Looks like he asked the barber for “give me that Wi-Fi signal fade.” 📶

James Cousins, the human equivalent of an iPhone alarm that doesn’t go off.
Friend 1: “Bro… James Cousins?? Man’s like the loading screen of real life — always there, but no one paying attention.”

Friend 2: “Facts. He the type to get left on delivered by Siri. 💀”

Friend 3: “Nah nah, James is so irrelevant, when he introduces himself, people hit him with ‘cool story, what’s your friend’s name?’”

Friend 1: “Bro looks like he Googled ‘swag’ once in 2013 and never updated the software.”

Friend 2: “Man eats plain toast and calls it ‘fire.’”

Friend 3: “He claps when the movie ends.”

All together: “JAMES COUSINS!!!” everyone dying laughing
by SussyGussy67 September 24, 2025
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Angus Allen

Certified main character energy. Moves through life like he’s the one directing the movie, and everybody else is just auditioning for supporting roles. Known for dropping lines so smooth they slide straight past the friend zone and land in “when are you free?” territory. Girls don’t just vibe with his rizz—they get curious, hooked, and lowkey addicted to the way he makes every convo feel like it’s written by the universe itself. A master at mixing charm with confidence, he doesn’t chase—he attracts, and somehow always leaves ‘em wondering how they just fell into his story.
Her: “So what do you do?”
Angus Allen: “Honestly? I don’t do much… I just make life feel like a movie. And right now, you just walked on set.”
Her: “Oh really? And what role am I playing?”
Angus Allen: “Depends… you trying to be a side character, or you want the lead with me?”
by SussyGussy67 September 21, 2025
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