Softestalpaca's definitions
Verb. When you defecate liquid poo so hard into a seated toilet so hard, the resulting splash covers both of your cheeks and sullies the back of your shirt. The experience is extremely unpleasant and aptly named after a notoriously unpleasant US Senator from Texas.
Bro, after eating one and a half chipotle burritos and chasing them down with four shots of espresso, I Ted Cruzed my girlfriend's toilet and had to throw away my favorite button down shirt.
by Softestalpaca June 14, 2022
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