Definitions by Sergeant Doncho

Punched muffin

A very unattractive woman

Some bro: dude, that chick is ugly!
Andrew: she's about as appealing as a punched muffin

Punched muffin by Sergeant Doncho June 21, 2019

Pressing ham 

Masturbating, to jerk off

Nick tried to bust in on Joel pressing ham.

Pressing ham by Sergeant Doncho June 20, 2019