Scotty Nice's definitions
When your wife is in the shower and you want a quickie, but don’t want to get wet. You open the shower door and she shimmies backwards to the opening, allowing you to do your deed without getting drenched.
Yesterday Trudie was in the shower and I was already dressed, so I called open door policy and got it from behind without getting wet.
by Scotty Nice December 11, 2019
Get the Open Door policy mug.A drink invented by your golf buddy that has double the alcohol content of a Long Island Iced Tea and garnished with his favorite flower, the Peony. It was created because his wife gets turned on by wearing a strap on and anally penetrating him. He gets embarrassed so he needs to get intoxicated to do it, even though it turns him on, as well.
Hey Bryan, want to go grab a beer tonight after golf? Sure thing, if you want to go with me to the Tailgate Tavern while I pound a couple Peony Pushes. Trudie wants to do the thing we do tonight and I need to get lubed up, in more ways than one.
by Scotty Nice December 11, 2020
Get the Peony Push mug.As a firefighter you respond to an scene where a Polish man who speaks no English is pointing toward his backside indicating pain. The 14 year old girl next door speaks English and translates for you.
Excuse me, 14 year old girl. Can you tell us what he’s saying? In broken English she responds, “He says he has a pencil stuck up his bum.” Ah, a polish pencil push, never get tired of seeing this.
by Scotty Nice January 14, 2021
Get the Polish pencil push mug.When you invite a gay midget to Thanksgiving and indicate which guest’s dick he’s supposed to suck by placing a lit votive under the chair of said “getter” of the fellatio.
I had the weirdest thanksgiving experience yesterday. There was a game called Turkey Day votive and basically they hired a midget to suck a random guest’s dick. It was crazy but I really enjoyed the BJ.
by Scotty Nice November 28, 2024
Get the Turkey day votive mug.When you and your wife dress up really nice for a classy party, but get too drunk to hump that night. The next morning, you convince her to put the sparkly dress back on, so you can pull it up and do her from behind as if it were the prior evening.
Trudie and I got so drunk last night that we passed out before we could bone. Thankfully, she let me do the reboot-y this morning.
by Scotty Nice December 16, 2019
Get the Reboot-y mug.When your girl finally agrees to let you in the butt after a grueling quest to convince her and you go so fast before she changes her mind that you jam it in without lube and bend your dick in half, causing a hospital visit and very uncomfortable conversation with the doctor.
Well doctor, you see, Trudie finally agreed to the butt and I went so fast that I forgot the lube and...snap crackle pop...here I am.
by Scotty Nice November 6, 2019
Get the Snap Crackle Pop mug.When a middle aged golfer gets drunk on the course and attempts to pick up on the cart girl, even though he is married. He tosses down a few White Claws and some awful lines that didn't even work 10 years prior thinking he has a chance to get up in her britches.
Holy shit, Trudie was the cart girl today and Dane asked her if she'd ever seen a lefty "drive it that hard". Jesus, Stranger Dane-ger
by Scotty Nice November 5, 2019
Get the Stranger Dane-ger mug.