Scotty Nice's definitions

Mickey’s hat of despair

When you take your family to the magical world of Disney and spend five days in scorching ball dripping heat, getting run over by heifers in electric scooters and spending more than half your salary on Mickey shaped treats while getting in two rides a day and all you come away with is a hat with a picture of that mother fucker on the front.

My husband was so angry when we were finally leaving Disney that to commemorate the financial destruction we had just gone though he decided to buy one last thing, Mickey’s hat of despair. I’m not sure we will ever recover.

by Scotty Nice June 16, 2023

Stiff as a Ball

When you see someone hitting a golf ball and you feel bad for them because you assume they have prosthetic legs. Their ability to flex and move their lower extremities is so bad that you imagine they were hit by a train as a child or had polio because their parents were anti-vaxxers.

So I was watching this guy tee off the other day and I felt so sad thinking of what happened to them as a child. Then I watched them walk away and it was perfectly normal. He was stiff as a ball hitting a golf shot, but walked fine. Really bizarre, must be at least a 10 handicap without an actual handicap.

by Scotty Nice July 27, 2023

Lopey Left Eye

When your older male friend can no longer see out of his left eye because of receiving a high speed shot of ejaculate directly to his eyeball during his sexual experimentation days. The eye survives for several years until the effect of the impact makes it such that glasses can no longer serve a beneficial purpose.

Damn I got a hummer from that MILF Trudie last night and I'd been saving up my load all week. She didn't want to swallow so when I was about to finish I blasted my goo so hard at her eye I doubt she will be able to see in a few years. She gonna have that Lopey Left Eye.

by Scotty Nice May 16, 2023

Tijuana Sushi

When you pull into port in the Coast Guard and attend a “gentlemen’s club” and proceed to get shitfaced and eat the backside of a whore, coating your face in wet slimy bacteria filled pussy and ass juice.

Yo I got so drunk at Senorita Slippy’s last night in port and this whore Trudie backed her ass and pussy in my face. I ate the shit out of it and It was like eating some spoiled Tijuana sushi.

by Scotty Nice October 25, 2019

Pearl Jammed

When you find out your friend, who loves Pearl Jam, likes when his wife jams a strand of fake pearls up his ass and yanks them out before entering him from behind with a dildo.

Last night Trudie Pearl Jammed me before hammering me with the Peony Push. It was so glorious.

by Scotty Nice February 6, 2021

Robert O'Neill

The first time having sex with your girlfriend. You have meticulously planned every part of the event down to the most minute detail. It finally happens and it is executed with perfection, though your mind was hazy, and all you know is that it ended with a head shot.

I finally had sex with Trudie last night. It ended up being a Robert O'Neill, but it was great and I can't wait to do it again.

by Scotty Nice December 11, 2019

Sexy slide

When you first slide your meat stick into her honey hole after getting her all wet and ready.

We were gettin all hot and heavy and then I gave her the sexy slide and she felt my wrath.

by Scotty Nice September 5, 2019