Scotty Nice's definitions
When you invite a gay midget to Thanksgiving and indicate which guest’s dick he’s supposed to suck by placing a lit votive under the chair of said “getter” of the fellatio.
I had the weirdest thanksgiving experience yesterday. There was a game called Turkey Day votive and basically they hired a midget to suck a random guest’s dick. It was crazy but I really enjoyed the BJ.
by Scotty Nice November 28, 2024
Get the Turkey day votive mug.When a man, even though he had a vasectomy, has to pull out in order not to leave his wife dripping for the next 12 hours and she doesn’t want it on her gut. The husband must take an old white undershirt and “tuck it” under her ass, creating a canvas for his man juice.
Fucking Trudie man. I got a vasectomy and she still won’t let me bust up in her puss. I have to use the t shirt tuck so I don’t get it on or in her.
by Scotty Nice October 26, 2019
Get the T Shirt Tuck mug.When you pull into port in the Coast Guard and attend a “gentlemen’s club” and proceed to get shitfaced and eat the backside of a whore, coating your face in wet slimy bacteria filled pussy and ass juice.
Yo I got so drunk at Senorita Slippy’s last night in port and this whore Trudie backed her ass and pussy in my face. I ate the shit out of it and It was like eating some spoiled Tijuana sushi.
by Scotty Nice October 25, 2019
Get the Tijuana Sushi mug.When your older male friend can no longer see out of his left eye because of receiving a high speed shot of ejaculate directly to his eyeball during his sexual experimentation days. The eye survives for several years until the effect of the impact makes it such that glasses can no longer serve a beneficial purpose.
Damn I got a hummer from that MILF Trudie last night and I'd been saving up my load all week. She didn't want to swallow so when I was about to finish I blasted my goo so hard at her eye I doubt she will be able to see in a few years. She gonna have that Lopey Left Eye.
by Scotty Nice May 16, 2023
Get the Lopey Left Eye mug.When your wife is in the shower and you want a quickie, but don’t want to get wet. You open the shower door and she shimmies backwards to the opening, allowing you to do your deed without getting drenched.
Yesterday Trudie was in the shower and I was already dressed, so I called open door policy and got it from behind without getting wet.
by Scotty Nice December 11, 2019
Get the Open Door policy mug.As a firefighter you respond to an scene where a Polish man who speaks no English is pointing toward his backside indicating pain. The 14 year old girl next door speaks English and translates for you.
Excuse me, 14 year old girl. Can you tell us what he’s saying? In broken English she responds, “He says he has a pencil stuck up his bum.” Ah, a polish pencil push, never get tired of seeing this.
by Scotty Nice January 14, 2021
Get the Polish pencil push mug.When your girl finally agrees to let you in the butt after a grueling quest to convince her and you go so fast before she changes her mind that you jam it in without lube and bend your dick in half, causing a hospital visit and very uncomfortable conversation with the doctor.
Well doctor, you see, Trudie finally agreed to the butt and I went so fast that I forgot the lube and...snap crackle pop...here I am.
by Scotty Nice November 6, 2019
Get the Snap Crackle Pop mug.