A mythical creature created when communist leader Joseph Stalin fused with a dolphin to create a being with a gigantic penis. This comes from the rumors that Stalin had a 12 inch penis (Everything's bigger in Russia) and the abnormally large size of a dolphin's.
Adam: "Apparently bottle-nosed dolphins are responsible for about 200 human rapes a year.
Thorin: "No dude that's Stalphin."
Adam: " Oh yeah, that's right."