Definitions by Prozic

3 Feet of Heat 

Someone with a major short person inferiority complex. Think Napoleon. This is usually someone who works in a chop shop, online porn or a stock pump it and dump it establishment. This person usually yells and runs around and might be known to jump on top of desks and scream about nothing to speak of. They might be rude to clients that pay them. This person likely does not have an email address nor knows how to search the web. Their cell phone is the size of a backpack or a phone booth. These are the Bud Light Bar Fleas, screwed because they have nothing much upstairs and not much to stand on besides a pair of Kenneth Cole shoes with lifts and Rogaine in the brain. Their devious nature gets them somewhere, but it's usually pretty shady and rat infested.

I just got my ass chewed by my 3 Feet of Heat boss. He has no idea that I am getting promoted over him and that he will be stuck in middle management for the rest of his life, or until he gets fired next week for using the company card at the strip joint during lunch. Hey, there are bigger chop shop and call centers right around the bend.

3 Feet of Heat by Prozic December 13, 2005

6 Feet of Meat 

The opposite of 3 Feet of Heat. He's Bill Lumberg from Office Space. He asks to you fill out TPS reports and has meetings about meetings. He rides the elevator all day to different inane meetings simply because this is the closest he is going to get to being upwardly mobile. He is annoying, he drives a classic company car and says cheezy cliches, like, "Gee Bob, looks like that deal really got Egg on Your Face". He throws some crowd pleaser work related fits, but he is far less harmless than <3 Feet of Heat> and sometimes actually rather entertaining in a claws on the chalkboard kind of way. He reads 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and has been reading it for over 7 years. He enjoys the Company Picnic and probably tends the grill. The 6 Feet of Meat man is stuck in Middle Management, this is not the <renaissance man>, this is no David. He is limited by his intelligence and connections, but we sometimes love to hate him anyway.

My 6 Feet of Meat Boss just had me fill out a call sheet of everyone I called today. I asked if I could email it to him and he told me I had to write it out with my company issued pen... And then he asked me what email was and walked away with his company issued coffee mug.

6 Feet of Meat by Prozic December 13, 2005