The Evergood

To get ones ever-good vessel wedged in a willing participants sewage canal.

Named for the Ever Given cargo ship that got stuck in the Suez Canal.

Blodwen was on the rag last week but she still let me give her the Evergood treatment.

by Pork Almighty March 31, 2021

Flew the Falcon

The four humpsman of the fuckopolipse.
Hand job, vag, anal and oral.
Han, Leia, Lando and a chewie

I almost flew the falcon with Gladys last night, but I popped off in less than 12 parsecs.

by Pork Almighty March 24, 2021

Early onset necrophilia

When the elderly have sex, pushing apart a grilled cheese sandwich with a loose sausage you found in the back of the freezer.

I walked into great aunt Bessie's room and her and uncle Boris were going at it, 19 to the dozen. The doctor said it's 'early onset necrophilia' and prescribed me some eye bleach.

by Pork Almighty June 17, 2016

Behind the mirror

Closeted homosexual. One who is in the closet behind a mirrored door.

“Has ‘so and so’ got a girlfriend yet?” “Naa, he’s still doing his hair behind the mirror, but I’m sure he’ll come out soon”

by Pork Almighty October 30, 2018

Homosyllabic

Poorly educated homosexual , who only hits on guys/gals with single syllable words.

That homosyllabic guy hitting on you can barely string a pick up line together.

by Pork Almighty November 20, 2019

Grandma's Bicycle

A wheelchair

Go get grandma's bicycle out so we can take her up the shops

by Pork Almighty June 19, 2019

Arsehole of Cyclists

The collective noun for Lycra clad cyclists that herd together on the road blocking traffic and acting like their shit doesn’t stink.

I’m sorry I was late to the meeting, I got stuck behind an arsehole of cyclists that held traffic up for 8 miles.

by Pork Almighty August 25, 2019