1 definition by Piers' Parentss

Piers

A Piers Stratton is usually found in the wild. You must look carefully! Sometimes he hides in the bushes, but sometimes he hides in the grass! He wields no weapon but his stare stops all. Have caution if he appears in the wild with no adult, he can be dangerous and is known as a "sex offender" These people are not nice people, unless trained correctly. Training a Piers Stratton is difficult but, a well behaved Piers Stratton is usually the result of corporal punishment, this is where force (burning, punching, kicking anything of that nature) is used to instill good ideals in him so he is a better human. Some people believe that this is cruel but studies have shown that Piers Startton performs better at school when he is being beaten at home. If a Piers Stratton consumes alcohol the effects are shown are somewhat funny. He begins talking in slurs and if enough has been consumed has difficulty talking at all. This makes for some very awkward conversations. (Anon: Oh, Hey Piers Piers: ........urggg noooo)

Its difficult to sum up everything that a Piers Stratton can do in one example but alas I will try.

Me - Dude, look in the bushes its a Piers Stratton
Piers - (stares deeply for six seconds) WAAAAAAPAAAAAPAPAPAPA. Oh Heyyy Laura, I thought you were someone else......
Me - Ohh (WTF)
Piers - I would be trying to seduce you now but I was trained well!
Me - Well thats good I suppose (WTFFFF)(Getting more awkward)
Piers - Yes........... (drinks much alcohol)
Me - Are you ok Piers?

Piers - ..............blurglblrugl............(begins to dribble at the mouth)......urgrgjrigr.......(FUCK ME)
Piers - (slowly sinks back into the bushes in shame)

by Piers' Parentss December 6, 2013