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Definitions by Phil McKracken again

Colorado Bulldog

NOUN: One who attempts style through poor quality merchandise but lacks quality genetics resulting in issues as basic as breathing.
He had no money and wore Chinese garbage head to foot. He was a Colorado Bulldog

Lemon Zinger 

While dumping a load on a facial, you intentionally aim for the eye, knowing you've been living on a diet solely consisting of hot sauce and acidic foods.
Quit complaining, it just a lemon zinger, now take your 20 bucks.