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by Phil Angies November 20, 2023
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Arsenius

Arsenius is the name of an incredibly smart and talented person who is extremely magical and whimsical and excels at everything they do. An Arsenius is kind, generous, humble and thoughtful, and is also extremely funny and always has a good joke to share.
Arsenius has a bit of a secret however, they are secretly an extremely powerful wizard who is probably thousands of years old. You can find them reading grimoires and practicing spells, or brewing potions over a bubbling cauldron. Arsenius most likely has a cat as a familiar, who will whisper strange, cryptic chants in your ears in you get close. If you find Arsenius out in the wild, they are going to be adorned with trinkets and treasures and you can always hear them coming because they will jingle like Christmas bells as they walk. Their robe will trail behind them elegantly, and their hat will droop mystically. Their staff will glow mysteriously, and their spectacles allow them to see people’s deepest secrets.
Never get on the bad side of an Arsenius. They will curse you and turn you into a little mouse to feed to their cat. However, their weakness is that Arsenius cannot ever be taller than 5 feet. Use this to your advantage if you ever find yourself in the disapproval of one.
Me: Hey, did you see that whimsical and magical looking person who walked by?
Friend: Yeah, that was Arsenius.
Me: Oh cool! I’ve always wanted to meet Arsenius
Friend: Just be careful to stay on their good side, or else they’ll turn you into a mouse and feed you to their cat
Me: Thanks for the heads up!
by Phil Angies November 20, 2023
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