Doctor of Philosophy and the highest educational degree. Typically confirmed upon those with the greatest of intellect, who, strangely enough, possess a vast reservoir of complex knowledge most suitable for the classrooms of higher education, but for reasons unknown, when placed into the real world, typically need a third hand to find their own ass.
Peter: Wow! Professor Johnson sure was amazing in class today, wasn’t he?
Mike: Well, he does have a PHD you know.
Peter: Gosh – that explains it!
Peter: Hey – who’s that jackass that works in the mail room?
Mike: That’s Bill Johnson. He has a PHD
Peter: Well – that explains it!