A metaphorical place one person escapes to while calling it “We Island” — claiming everything they do is for both of you, while consistently making solo decisions without communication, collaboration, or consent.
Often characterized by:
- Major life changes you weren’t part of — like moving, switching jobs, enrolling the kids in something big, or suddenly “going in a new direction” you didn’t know was on the map
- Calendar changes delivered after the fact (if at all) — like finding out you’re going on a family vacation you didn’t know was planned, to a place you wouldn’t have picked, during a week you didn’t know you were available
- Emotional or financial risks taken “for us” that you didn’t even know were on the table — or that you can't understand why they were ever on the table
- A “joint decision” you somehow find yourself in the middle of — wondering not just when it was made, but who even thought it was a good idea
Not to be confused with:
We Island — an actual shared space where decisions are made together, with mutual respect, transparency, and a shared compass.
Often characterized by:
- Major life changes you weren’t part of — like moving, switching jobs, enrolling the kids in something big, or suddenly “going in a new direction” you didn’t know was on the map
- Calendar changes delivered after the fact (if at all) — like finding out you’re going on a family vacation you didn’t know was planned, to a place you wouldn’t have picked, during a week you didn’t know you were available
- Emotional or financial risks taken “for us” that you didn’t even know were on the table — or that you can't understand why they were ever on the table
- A “joint decision” you somehow find yourself in the middle of — wondering not just when it was made, but who even thought it was a good idea
Not to be confused with:
We Island — an actual shared space where decisions are made together, with mutual respect, transparency, and a shared compass.
“I already made the decision, planned the details, and set everything in motion — now all you have to do is smile, get on board, and join me on Whee Island.”
by Otto Consent April 25, 2025