An Alistair is a man who was immediately granted the powers of God at birth. He is always born to be the coolest, handsomest, mostest professionalest bowler, street fighter, and/or baker. Anyone who intends to hurt an Alistair will be smited by Alistair due to the mere thought. All Alistairs have an average GPA of 19.7, and are right below Cithulu in the food chain. All Alistairs are awesome as balls. They also reach maximum capacity schlongs at the age of 9.
Don't look Alistair in the eye; He'll fucking kill you.
If I don't pay Alistair the money I owe him, He'll break my face.
Alistair found a penny on the ground but then lost it so now He's looking for me because He needs something to punch. h e l p m e
If I don't pay Alistair the money I owe him, He'll break my face.
Alistair found a penny on the ground but then lost it so now He's looking for me because He needs something to punch. h e l p m e
by Not Alistair November 24, 2021
A guy who is so cool that he makes Elon Musk seem like a Chad (which is one status below "Giga Chad"). An Alistair might seem like his Schlong is only 17", but in actuality, it is 40". It is also a well-known fact that anyone who doesn't like an Alistair will suffer the wrath of the shrexy Poseidon. Alistairs usually have a bank account with numbers ranging from 15-80 zeros. They also make a living off of signing people's important possessions. I mean, who wouldn't want their baby to be signed by an Alistair?
by Not Alistair March 04, 2022