MrNando's definitions

Porter Cheeks

The heavy feeling that comes with sitting on the toilet too long, often from getting carried away on doomscrolling. It can result in numbness of the legs, or red welts on the pressured area.

Person A: "Dudeee, you were in there a long time."
Person B: "Yeah, sorry, I got Porter Cheeks from sitting so long."

Person A: "Be careful dude, I heard Kathy has an STD."
Person B: "Oh no, she just has Porter Cheeks from sitting on the toilet too much."

by MrNando April 3, 2026