Definitions by Michael T. Lynch Jr., Scientician

Scientician

An authoritative individual of questionable medical, scientific and/or scholastic merit.

Although Skin Failure is not a condition recognized by any "legitimate" medical association, many scienticians believe it to be a leading cause of death among the elderly.

Scientician by Michael T. Lynch Jr., Scientician October 12, 2003

Dumbening 

A rare, genetic condition found in males, usually surfacing at the on-set of puberty; the result of which is a swift plummeting of the carrier's overall intelligence.

Young Abraham quickly went from smart as a monkey to dumb as a chimp, as a result of his dumbening.

Dumbening by Michael T. Lynch Jr., Scientician October 12, 2003

Skin Failure 

A medical condition among elderly individuals, often caused by stress, resulting in the complete cessation of all dermal functions. i.e.) water retention, temperature control, hair production, etc.

Calm down, sir! You're going to give yourself Skin Failure!

Skin Failure by Michael T. Lynch Jr., Scientician October 12, 2003