2 definitions by Master Chesco
To jerk off, to jack off, to whack off, to beat off, to crank on out, to thrash, to choke the (Chinese) chicken, to pinch the one-eyed snake, to slap the salami, to spank the dolphin, to flog the dolphin, to pull the pork, to polish one's gun, to shine the silver, to beat the bishop, to smack little johnny behind his German helmet and purple bulbous ear, to do the five knuckle shuffle, to make love with oneself, to beat around the bush, to flick the sausage, to punch the purple ninja, to juice the snake, to peel the banana, to milk the cow, to squeeze the purple-headed yogurt-slinger, to slap the monkey, to tame the dragon, to play pocket pool, to go bowling by oneself, to hit a homerun in the homefield, and yet, to strike out, to whittle the woodblock, to shimmy up and down the pole of love, to initiate the Saturn V, to turn on the sprinklers, to turn on one's love hose, to punch the clown in the nose, to tweek the deek, to hit the dick, to tallywhack, to soil the Kleenex, to smother the hanky, and I'm sure I'm forgetting a few.
by Master Chesco April 19, 2004
Here's more: Again, to grease the rod, to squash the bug, to shake hands with your penis, to squeeze the eclair, to fuck oneself, to awaken the slumbering giant, to flick the dick, to practice ju-dick-su, to train oneself in kung-penis, to play one's oboe, to rob the sperm bank, as well as take out a loan from one's sperm bank, to make your elephant laugh so hard that he squirts milk through his trunk, to shoot the shit, to cockadoodledoo, to make your worm sneeze, to visit the fountain of youth, to take a trip to Mexico with only one pair of underwear, to spray the butter, to spray the Cool-Whip, to get your "smack" on, to pump the hydrant, to evacuate one's testicles, to question the Mauve Avenger, to do the math, to calculate pi, to pleasure oneself manually, to practice stick-shift, to open the stairway to heaven, to save the whale, to squirt the mayonnaise, to attempt to reach orgasm in solitude (although not always), to climb/hike up pleasure mountain,to slap the Puerto Rican, to pour the salad dressing, to give an angel its wing, to kill a mockingbird. And there are still more to come (pun intended)!
Ah, masturbation....
by Master Chesco April 21, 2004