Shit's Hard

Sometimes the only thing you can say to a friend who is getting their ass handed to them by life.

"Hey, how you doing?"
"Not great. I've had three colds this month, I'm broke, I'm not getting laid, I've gained thirty pounds, and the whole world is falling apart."
"Yeah... shit's hard, man."

by Little Walnut October 03, 2017

Letitimate

The state of being of a woman who conforms to the laws and rules of society with the mistaken assumption she's playing by the same set of rules as men.

Kamala Harris and Hillary Clinton both seemed like legitimate choices for presidential candidates, but it turns out they were only letitimate.

by Little Walnut November 21, 2024

Banana Window

The extremely brief window of time––sometimes as short as ten minutes––when a banana is at its perfect level of ripeness.

"You should take a bite of this here banana."

"No thanks. The banana window hasn't opened just yet."

by Little Walnut March 04, 2017

Down in the Trumps

When you feel too depressed to perform basic life functions, and the only explanation is that Donald Trump is your president.

"I just watched twelve videos of baby goats in sweaters to cheer myself up."
"What's the matter?"
"Oh, nothing. Just down in the Trumps."
"Yeah... can you send me those videos?"

by Little Walnut November 21, 2016

Virtual Social Distancing

The only way to avoid a virtual hangout during quarantine.

Someone you rarely hang out with: "Hey, want to have a zoom call tonight?"
You: "Sorry! I can't."
Someone you rarely hang out with: "Why not? It's not like you can go out."
You: "I know, but I'm practicing virtual social distancing."

by Little Walnut March 31, 2020