1 definition by Leeward

A town in Pennsylvania that people from out of town call quaint and people from the area know it as hell. If you take the bad part of a small city like Pittsburgh that is roughly the size and appeal of Altoona. Yes, the best definition for Altoona is, other than the metropolis of Blair County, a town with the largest drug problem per capita of any city in Pennsylvania, and the highest depression rate. Though, Johnstown was deemed the most depressing city, it was only because the people in Altoona were far too depressed to get out of bed and vote. Furthermore, Altoona is the only place on Earth where drive-by shootings are so pathetic a person can fire fifty bullets into a car and cause no damage to the driver.
I thought about going to Altoona but decided casturation seemed more appealing.
by Leeward December 11, 2007
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