Skip to main content

Lancaster's Second Finest's definitions

Grape Shaming

The cruel and bigoted practice of mocking a fellow human being simply because they have brutal, throbbing haemorrhoids.
Having endured three decades of unremitting grape shaming from his supposed friends, Simon cautiously lifted himself from the inflatable cushion and declared for all the world “No more!” And then “Aaargh! Me Farmer Giles!”
by Lancaster's Second Finest April 23, 2024
mugGet the Grape Shaming mug.

Lisachondria

Like hypochondria, but much, much worse. The true lisachondriac not only believes they have every exotic disease on the planet, but feels compelled to share this information with even the most casual of bystanders.
Lisachondriac: “I have a headache and I feel a bit warm. I’ve checked on Google and I blatantly have Dengue fever. I’m done for.”
Person: “Er, I don’t know who you are, though I have good reason to suspect you are one of those Lisachondriacs.”

Lisachondria affects one in four million people in civil society. Sufferers are typically spotted being escorted out of medical facilities by angry-looking staff.
by Lancaster's Second Finest March 15, 2019
mugGet the Lisachondria mug.

Forstering About

Extreme procrastination when a social appointment is looming, a process that often results in Mortlocking it.
The party was at 9pm, but I was Forstering about with Facebook and finally got in the shower at 8.55.

Simon had been Forstering about and home with some quackish treatments for McDonaldism and, by the time he actually got to the docks, all the best sailors had been taken. As such, he ended up having to go home with Vladimir One-Bollock, who also has syphilis. That'll teach him.
mugGet the Forstering About mug.

Did a Clemmo.

Neglected to eat before a heavy drinking session, with devastating consequences.
Chantelle was really looking forward to her reunion at the hairdressers college, but was in a hurry and did a Clemmo. The upshot was that she was in bed by 9pm.

Chad thought the evening would be much cheaper if he did a Clemmo. In the event, he just ended up in police custody.
by Lancaster's Second Finest February 15, 2014
mugGet the Did a Clemmo. mug.

Ryaned It

Poured a pint of fine British ale REALLY badly.
I was really looking forward to my pint of Tubthumper's Old Gutrot, but the barman Ryaned it, and it ended up looking like water from the swamp.
by Lancaster's Second Finest February 14, 2014
mugGet the Ryaned It mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email