Lancaster's Second Finest's definitions

Universal Duffrage

The right of any woman to own as many cats as she bloody wants, no matter how much her long-suffering man bitch might object.

I have to get up at 5am every day to amuse 22 loud moggies, while she stays in bed snoring. Bloody universal Duffrage.

by Lancaster's Second Finest July 17, 2015

Did a Clemmo.

Neglected to eat before a heavy drinking session, with devastating consequences.

Chantelle was really looking forward to her reunion at the hairdressers college, but was in a hurry and did a Clemmo. The upshot was that she was in bed by 9pm.

Chad thought the evening would be much cheaper if he did a Clemmo. In the event, he just ended up in police custody.

by Lancaster's Second Finest February 15, 2014

Sludge Bannon

Very much like a sludge cannon, only with the endless torrent of molten shite pouring forth from the mouth, rather than the anus

The average Sludge Bannon will last six to eight months in a political administration before Donald Trump fires him for not being quite racist enough.

by Lancaster's Second Finest August 21, 2017

Brumgrapes

Haemorrhoids, but in Birmingham.

While Simon’s piles were clearly the size of Birmingham, this did not make them actual Brumgrapes.

Brummie: “Cowin’ ‘ell, me bumgrapes are worse than Aston Villa’s defence.”
Accredited General Practitioner: “Then I fear you may have Brumgrapes.”

by Lancaster's Second Finest February 12, 2025

Mortlocking It

Having no concept of time, or the corollary matter of punctuality, whatsoever.

Everyone else was there at 7pm, but I mortlocked it and rolled up at 9.30.

Simon is known for mortlocking it when distracted by well-built Russian sailors.

The baby mortlocked it, so had to be induced.

by Lancaster's Second Finest February 1, 2014