Skip to main content

Lancaster's Second Finest's definitions

McDonaldism

The dissonant male-specific mental state of being both (a) distressed at having gone bald, but also (b) delighted that you've gone bald because you were previously ginger. A chronic form of the classically ephemeral cognitive dissonance, McDonaldism affects around 2% of men worldwide, and 73% of men in Scotland.
See that 40 year old guy who's trying to have sexual intercourse with age-inappropriate, attached women? He's only behaving that way because he has McDonaldism.
by Lancaster's Second Finest August 15, 2011
mugGet the McDonaldismmug.

Beercontinence

Humiliatingly soiling yourself as a direct consequence of alcohol-consumption.
After inadvisedly smelling a half-pint of shandy, Simon developed catastrophic beercontinence and uncontrollably voided his bowels in the middle of a busy supermarket.

Geoff’s beercontinence was the stuff of legend, particularly among the staff at the Travelodge who remain in therapy to this day.

Brunhild in German: “Arnfried, did you literally just cack your underpants during our first date?”
Arnfried also in German: “It is not my fault. The strong Munich pilsener has rendered me beercontinent.”
by Lancaster's Second Finest January 20, 2023
mugGet the Beercontinencemug.

Sludge Bannon

Very much like a sludge cannon, only with the endless torrent of molten shite pouring forth from the mouth, rather than the anus
The average Sludge Bannon will last six to eight months in a political administration before Donald Trump fires him for not being quite racist enough.
by Lancaster's Second Finest August 21, 2017
mugGet the Sludge Bannonmug.

Brumgrapes

While Simon’s piles were clearly the size of Birmingham, this did not make them actual Brumgrapes.

Brummie: “Cowin’ ‘ell, me bumgrapes are worse than Aston Villa’s defence.”
Accredited General Practitioner: “Then I fear you may have Brumgrapes.”
by Lancaster's Second Finest February 12, 2025
mugGet the Brumgrapesmug.

Did a Clemmo.

Neglected to eat before a heavy drinking session, with devastating consequences.
Chantelle was really looking forward to her reunion at the hairdressers college, but was in a hurry and did a Clemmo. The upshot was that she was in bed by 9pm.

Chad thought the evening would be much cheaper if he did a Clemmo. In the event, he just ended up in police custody.
by Lancaster's Second Finest February 15, 2014
mugGet the Did a Clemmo.mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email