16 definitions by Lancaster's Second Finest
The dissonant male-specific mental state of being both (a) distressed at having gone bald, but also (b) delighted that you've gone bald because you were previously ginger. A chronic form of the classically ephemeral cognitive dissonance, McDonaldism affects around 2% of men worldwide, and 73% of men in Scotland.
See that 40 year old guy who's trying to have sexual intercourse with age-inappropriate, attached women? He's only behaving that way because he has McDonaldism.
by Lancaster's Second Finest August 12, 2011
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Everyone else was there at 7pm, but I mortlocked it and rolled up at 9.30.
Simon is known for mortlocking it when distracted by well-built Russian sailors.
The baby mortlocked it, so had to be induced.
Simon is known for mortlocking it when distracted by well-built Russian sailors.
The baby mortlocked it, so had to be induced.
by Lancaster's Second Finest February 01, 2014
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Chantelle was really looking forward to her reunion at the hairdressers college, but was in a hurry and did a Clemmo. The upshot was that she was in bed by 9pm.
Chad thought the evening would be much cheaper if he did a Clemmo. In the event, he just ended up in police custody.
Chad thought the evening would be much cheaper if he did a Clemmo. In the event, he just ended up in police custody.
by Lancaster's Second Finest February 15, 2014
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The right of any woman to own as many cats as she bloody wants, no matter how much her long-suffering man bitch might object.
I have to get up at 5am every day to amuse 22 loud moggies, while she stays in bed snoring. Bloody universal Duffrage.
by Lancaster's Second Finest July 03, 2015
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Very much like a sludge cannon, only with the endless torrent of molten shite pouring forth from the mouth, rather than the anus
The average Sludge Bannon will last six to eight months in a political administration before Donald Trump fires him for not being quite racist enough.
by Lancaster's Second Finest August 19, 2017
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A human being who, often due to an excessively chilli-heavy diet, has not produced a solid stool in years.
Simon, a notable Sludge Cannon, is barred from every public lavatory in the north of England.
"Mummy, does Uncle Simon wear plastic underwear because he's a sludge cannon?"
"No, dear, it's because he's a massive pervert."
"Mummy, does Uncle Simon wear plastic underwear because he's a sludge cannon?"
"No, dear, it's because he's a massive pervert."
by Lancaster's Second Finest June 12, 2016
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When I woke up today, the heating was nearly half a degree out of whack, so I obviously had to some Shelleying. I told my boss I had hypothermia and was in the spa by 9.30.
A sustained campaign of Shelleying had enabled Simon to write his first novel, a six hundred page meditation on one man’s struggle with devastating haemorrhoids.
Person 1: “Man, I’ve not been in to work on a Friday for 15 years. I tell them I’m working from home, but I’ve totally cracked out the gin by mid-morning.”
Person 2: “Dude, that is some epic Shelleying.”
A sustained campaign of Shelleying had enabled Simon to write his first novel, a six hundred page meditation on one man’s struggle with devastating haemorrhoids.
Person 1: “Man, I’ve not been in to work on a Friday for 15 years. I tell them I’m working from home, but I’ve totally cracked out the gin by mid-morning.”
Person 2: “Dude, that is some epic Shelleying.”
by Lancaster's Second Finest March 15, 2019
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