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Definitions by Joe Rodgers (cotk)

u bend blocker 

a turd so big that it blocks the u bend

erection section 

top shelf of a newsagents

crackerjacks 

as in "im of upstairs to whack my crackerjacks"

knob chopper 

precariously balenced toilet seat which falls down while having a piss and therfore must be held up manualy