Jacques Strappes's definitions

scalia

noun
1. the aged remnants of a santorum permanently stained in an undergarment.

The coroner literally had to peel the underwear off the ass of the corpse on account of the huge pungent scalia acting as an adhesive agent between the underwear’s material and Justice Scalia’s ass. The coroner’s report read that, some time ago, “a well-endowed beast must have pounded Justice Scalia’s ass and left behind a sticky gooey santorum that gelled up over a considerable amount of time. I’m going to barf.” Like the corpse, the underwear were unrevivable. (The coroner quit her job that day.)

by Jacques Strappes September 15, 2016