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Harris Bergstein's definitions

Lawyer Ball

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The art of playing the rules instead of playing a game. For example, trying to work out a walk in slow-pitch softball. Swing the bat, you puss!

Also applicable to weenies who demand free throws after the slightest contact in a pick-up basketball game and d-bags who take yardage penalties in backyard football games.
Pops: Hit it out of the park, boy!
Son: Don't pressure me, I'm trying to work the count.
Pops: Don't play lawyer ball, son.
by Harris Bergstein December 24, 2006
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pornophile

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"Hey Janet, could we move the sales meeting to the conference room? The pornophile across from my office is watching a three-way on his widescreen."

"It's nine thirty in the morning."

"It's porno, Janet, not gin."
by Harris Bergstein December 19, 2006
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