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Definitions by Gary Barry

Going to Alford 

A euphemism used in a similar fashion as "Going to see a man about a dog".

'Going to Alford' is usually a polite way of explaining an intention to attend a clandestine sexual meeting with anonymous consenting individuals.
Where's Kyle?

He's 'Going to Alford' for the night.

Filthy bugger.
Going to Alford by Gary Barry November 13, 2011
Alford (pronounced aff-fud) is a term used by the overly-private to describe their intentions to commit borderline sex crimes anonymously with like-minded consenting individuals.
"I'm going to Alford for the night"

Would perhaps mean:

I'm going to meet a lady who wants to wrap me in cling film and make love to me in front of her dog.
Alford by Gary Barry October 31, 2011