Definitions by ELJANISSOHANDSOME

Jeremy

Jeremy A kind-hearted legend with a heart of gold and a massive appetite that could bankrupt a small country. This guy is so sweet he would give you the shirt off his back, right after he finishes eating everything at the buffet and probably the buffet table too. Weighing in at about 500 pounds of pure love and zero cardio, this absolute unit is built like a couch cushion, except the cushion is made of snacks. Despite having the stamina of a sloth on vacation and moving at seismic-event speeds, this man somehow made it onto the varsity team. It's either pure luck, coach favoritism, or the refs were too scared to say no. We tease him nonstop for “eating the world” one family-sized portion at a time. “Jeremy doesn’t do laps; he causes earthquakes.” Or, “When Jeremy runs, the ground gets indigestion.” But deep down, we love our chubby-cheeked, planet-sized king. He’s the guy who’d still show up to help you move, after one more slice. Examples: “Yo, where’s Jeremy?” “Earthquake just hit the cafeteria—must be him loading up tray #4.” “Jeremy, you gonna run the mile?” “Heavy breathing just from standing up. Nah bro, I’m pacing myself for the all-you-can-eat after.”

jeremy is cool

Jeremy by ELJANISSOHANDSOME February 18, 2026