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Definitions by Donald Cowboy Cerrone

hairpie crisis 

When, after giving oral sex to a woman with a hairy vagina, the dude has a few pubic hairs stuck in his teeth.
I had a job interview that I thought went great. I did not get the job and when I got to my car I looked at my face in the rear view mirror and saw a bunch of pubic hairs in my teeth. I realized this is why i failed in my interview. After giving Sophia head before my interview I forgot to check my mouth and floss. This fucking hairpie crisis caused me to blow my interview!

Glands of Montgomery

These are the small bumps that may exist on the areola of a woman. They usually live on women with large plump areolas . These glands surround the nipple and normally number from 2 to 24 in number. Typically the larger the nipple and areola, the more of these beautiful little nibblers there are on a given breast. They actually look like little nipples. When a woman is cold or aroused they become more prominent! They are named after an 18th century researcercher who researched these puppies whose name is Grover Montgomery.
I told my friend Tom Cruise {yes, the Tom Cruise} that this hoe at my gym that prances around topless has the most amazing Glands of Montgomery. Cruise told me he would rather suck a penis with Glands of Montgomery than do so with a nipple. Adam from Maroon 5 feels the same way. Adam from Maroon 5 is gay.