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Definitions by Daniel O’Rourke

Late variables 

When you commit to do something fun with your friends only to be told by your partner you have to change your plans.
Ken: are you still coming on the holiday we planned?
Dan: sorry, I’m experiencing late variables.

Trending well 

When someone asks if you will be attending their event but you don’t want to say yes.
Tom: are you coming for a beer tonight?
Dan: trending well.