AARP

Armpits, Asshole, Crotch, and Teeth. These are the only four body parts that need to be washed when camping in the wilderness. All the rest are trivial.

Yeah the stream is freezing, but I'm dirty and I only have to hit the AARP. Gimme the soap...
*splash*

by Crew Middle Fork September 25, 2005

Power Play

The Power Play is a 24-pack of beer cans. It is the big brother to the Chainsaw.

Beer is needed. Go forth and purchase a Power Play of Coors Light. A chainsaw is not enough.

by Crew Middle Fork August 09, 2005

Chainsaw

An 18-pack of canned beer. When carried at one's side it resembles the size and shape of a chainsaw.

We're all out of beer. Head over to Pinecove and grab a couple chainsaws of Bud Light.

by Crew Middle Fork August 09, 2005

Double Up

A Wakeboarding manuever in which the boat's driver navigates the boat back across its own previously created wake. The current wake and the wave created by the old wake come together to momentarily make one enormous wake, which the rider hits to achieve massive air. The path of the boat roughly approximates the letter P, starting at the bottom and crossing the wake heading left.

Bonifay's half-cab double backroll off the Double Up is the sickest move around...

by Crew Middle Fork August 24, 2004

Uncle Jesse

Arguably the most awesome individual to ever walk the Earth. Everything Uncle Jesse did, be did it sweet. A typical day might include: styling hair with mousse and Mr. Goodpart, wearing tight jeans and cowboy boots, riding a harley, shredding on guitar with his band The Rippers, putting Danny and Joey in their place, and teaching DJ, Stephanie, and Michelle lessons in morality. Then banging Becky and combing hair again.

Uncle Jesse kicks ass AND has morals (and sweet hair)...

by Crew Middle Fork November 21, 2004

Speedball

One of wakeboarding's most revered maneuvers, invented by Darin Shapiro. The Speedball is a heelside double front flip. Normally done off of the Double Up, the rider rotates twice before landing.

If Shapiro hits the Speedball, kiss this competition goodbye.

by Crew Middle Fork September 26, 2004

Toxic Megacolons

The most dominant ROTO baseball team ever assembled, without collusion, via skilled drafting, shrewd trades, and timely waiver acquisitions. The team took the lead in its 12 team league in mid-April and never looked back, finishing a dominating 20.5 points ahead of the runner-up. Its murderous batting lineup finished 1st in 5 of 6 offensive categories (R, HR, RBI, AVG, OPS) and 2nd in steals. Its dominant pitchers carried the team to 1st in ERA and WHIP, 2nd in SAVES and HOLDS, and 5th in WINS and K's. The indomitable lineup, in its optimal form, was as follows:

C: Brian McCann, ATL
1B: Albert Pujols, StL
2B: Chase Utley, PHI
3B: Aramis Ramirez, CHC
SS: Jose Reyes, NYM
OF: Lance Berkman, HOU
OF: Carlos Lee, TEX
OF: Matt Holiday, COL
UT: Troy Glaus, TOR
Bench: Hideki Matsui, NYY; Jason Varitek, BOS; Corey Patterson, BAL; Kevin Youkilis, BOS; Juan Rivera LAA

SP: Roy Halladay, TOR
SP: Andy Pettitte, HOU
SP: Jered Weaver, LAA
RP: BJ Ryan, TOR
RP: Akinori Otsuka, TEX
RP: Tom Gordon, PHI
P: Todd Jones, DET
P: Joel Zumaya, DET
P: John Lackey, LAA
Bench: Esteban Loaiza, Jon Lester, Mike Stanton

Carlos Lee was acquired in June for Pat Burrell and Ken Griffey Jr. to solidify and streamline the lineup.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the greatest ROTO team of all time!!! Wooooo!!

Man, there is no way we can compete with the Toxic Megacolons. That team is a juggernaut!

by Crew Middle Fork December 07, 2006