Definitions by Cockwood

lumpy shelf 

A beard that a late teen is trying to grow to make themselves look like a man but ends up looking like a lumpy shelf

Your beard is giving me lumpy shelf vibes

lumpy shelf by Cockwood February 16, 2021

PTGD 

(P)ost (T)raumatic (G)ame (D)isorder- When someone plays videogames for far too long in one day. Symptoms include, but are not limited too: Violent outbursts, extreme racism/homophobia, uncontrollable shaking of the thumbs and/or hands, and seeing the particular game when the victim closes his/her eyes.

Tom: Dude, I have such bad PTGD right now...
Brian: How...how bad
Tom: I can see the game when I close my eyes!
Brian: I remember my first time...

PTGD by Cockwood January 7, 2011

Morning Surprise 

When the "morning wood" penetrates anally the "little spoon" while spooning after sex, resulting in the complete and utter surprise of your partner.

Well isn't this just a morning surprise

Morning Surprise by Cockwood November 15, 2010