Carbon

A non-metal with atomic number 6. Makes up almost all the shit in biosphere.

A prostitute on an atomic level. It's able to form single, double AND triple bonds... such a whore.

A girl's bestfriend when you think about it (diamond).

Pure carbon compounds also include soot, graphite, etc.

- Did you hear Carbon is going out with 4 hydrogens at the same time?
- Slut...